


soft [moon side]

by spacedouche



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-19 04:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9417575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedouche/pseuds/spacedouche
Summary: surely, she would have fallen alone





	1. love is awesome

Skinship sells. It’s no secret that affection thrives in their industry, and fans eat it all up.

Byulyi is grateful. Being loved by girl fans and being surrounded by arguably the most beautiful girls in the country is no difficult position to be in. It’s even better since she’s in a group with the prettiest of them all.

Touching others comes naturally to Byulyi. Her words aren’t that great at expressing how she feels, so instead she relays it in a pat on the shoulder, a grasping of hands, or arms around the waist. Touching is comfortable, it calms her down, and girls are soft, so Byulyi tries to keep as much contact as she can. It’s reflexive, instinctive, and it comes as no surprise when she starts sticking to Yongsun like glue.

It starts for the obvious reason. In their formation, Yongsun is the closest person, and she’s nice, so she never pushes Byulyi away. When they’re on stage, on video, in front of cameras or not, having a kind unnie to hold on to when she’s not quite sure of herself is a blessing. It’s even better because Yongsun gives her more than physical comfort; even in their trainee days she’d always be there as a pillar of support, a shining beacon cutting through Byulyi self-doubt. Byulyi clung on to Yongsun because surely, she would have fallen alone.

And maybe it could have been Wheein or Hyejin, or anyone. But maybe Wheein instead would have gotten sad with her, and maybe Hyejin would have been too blunt in her care. And maybe they already had each other.

A hand on the back, a hug from the side, intertwining fingers, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, whispering low so they have to get close, a poke in the cheeks, a hand on her thigh, a blanket wrapped around the both of them, the feeling of curling into a tight ball and hugging her, a grin she just can’t help because she’s so happy, a kiss just far enough to be platonic.

Soft words, knowing her thoughts without speaking, trusting her and being trusted, leaving everything out in the open and not being afraid, gazing into eyes so warm they could have convinced her she never had anxiety in the first place.

Of course it had to be Yongsun.

Yongsun was Byulyi’s safe space.


	2. love is awesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unedited and inconsistent, as always ;)

She thinks, at some point, it must have become an addiction instead. She did it so often that when she didn’t, it was almost unsettling, like the feeling of forgetting something that wasn’t enough to worry about, but enough to make her itch. It turned from a need to a want. Byulyi didn’t know why she never thought that touching Yongsun would turn into an obsession, because really there was nothing preventing this development.

The cameras? Only their fans paid attention to those, and they didn’t seem to mind.

Their coworkers? They were probably more tired of how grossly cute they are than actually bothered by it.

Yongsun?

Yongsun stopped her sometimes, when it was too long, too real, too much for simple complacent comfort. Yongsun’s hands say don’t go too far. Byulyi’s hands ask what is too far? She somehow knows the limits she’s tested very well.

Ten inches above the knee on her bare leg, fingers only barely dipping inward.

Right in the center of her neck, and never high enough to reach her jawline.

Pressed to her ear, but always with her hair as a veil.

Fingers laced, but for no more than a few minutes.

Same thing with their hugs, don’t hold too tight, don’t stay too long.

(At least Yongsun doesn’t stop her from looking, so she stares as much as she wants. Byulyi has a hunch that Yongsun likes the attention anyway, when she turns to make sure Byulyi is watching.)

Byulyi can think of a number of reasons why Yongsun stops her, but it probably boils down to just one thing.

_People are watching, people are watching, people are watching._

Sometimes at night, when they’re sharing a bed, Byulyi moves her head as close as she can to Yongsun’s, her lips only ever grazing, just to test what it would be like to actually go for it. She runs through scenarios in her head where she kisses Yongsun’s lips, and it makes her feel like her chest is going to implode.

From a need to a want and now she feels like she needs it again. She’s suffocating out in the open, and it’s probably because Yongsun takes her breath away.

Byulyi didn’t know she had it in her to be this childish until Yongsun. She’s well into her twenties, they both are, yet she can’t help acting cool, or being greasy, or being a little mean, all the while exuding a notice me notice me notice me aura in the hopes that

That what?

That she would turn to look. And she would get it; it would all click into place. She would understand all the coy smiles and the summoned confidence and elaborate gestures and the constant attention and the smoldering looks and she would get that _I like you._

_I need you._


	3. it was like breathing for the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> byulyi thinks about her actions

One night, she does it.

They’re on break, so Byulyi brought it upon herself to spend the week at Yongsun’s place. There’s not any particular reason.

She’s lonely, her stuff’s already there, they could do some writing together, her place is too quiet, Wheein and Hyejin are back in Jeonju, all the things that just chock up to Byulyi wanting to be with Yongsun.

They’d been passing the days idly. They’d go to the company to practice or rehearse, then come back home. They’d watch TV, or Byulyi would try to teach Yongsun how to play some of her video games. In the evening Yongsun would take Jjing Jjing on a walk and Byulyi would tag along, of course. They’d get dinner while they’re out. Byulyi wasn’t a picky eater, so having Yongsun was a blessing. She always had a craving, so Byulyi never ended up skipping a meal simply because she couldn’t decide what she wanted.

At night, they’d talk. Byulyi can’t believe it’s so easy. Friends for years, seeing each other every day, her practically living at Yongsun’s house, how they can still have conversations that last hours? It’s like no matter is too little, no detail spared, she wants to hear everything and share everything, commit every intonation and inflection to memory.

Eventually Yongsun would claim she was tired, and she would go take a shower. She’d leave the door unlocked. Byulyi would go into the bathroom after a little bit, already dressed in her pajamas because she’s the type that showers in the morning, and brush her teeth. When Yongsun finished Byulyi would hand her a towel and they’d go into the bedroom together. Byulyi would flop onto Yongsun’s fluffy comforter and wait for her to finish getting dressed.

After Yongsun turned off the lights and crawled into bed she would snuggle in close and they’d speak to each other in murmurs, Byulyi’s attention rapt until Yongsun would drift off to sleep in the middle of a sentence and Byulyi could bear witness to the moment she completely relaxed. It was cute. Sometimes with her mouth slightly parted, sometimes it was gaping open like a fish, sometimes, her lips were still quirked, there was the hint of a smile, and Byulyi swears it’s so beautiful she could cry.

It's one of those nights, that Byulyi, as always, pulls in close enough for them to share a breath. She’s a light enough sleeper that she won’t be able to rest until Yongsun stills completely, so she spends the wait time just staring at her.

Their legs are tangled and she has one arm draped over Yongsun’s waist. Tonight is the same. It’s the same as the last night and the night before and before and before and before. But just like all those nights Byulyi is a reaction waiting to happen, and Yongsun is her catalyst. Her activation energy has been building all week and that’s probably why it happens. Being in Yongsun’s presence and feeling her softness in the dark, her heart was left so vulnerable by the intensity of its own feelings.

She was on the precipice, every muscle in her body was tense and she was frozen, unable to move for fear of disturbing the one in her arms. It made her grateful that she wasn’t alone in the vastness of her feelings but at the same time, Yongsun was the one who had made them an ocean, and it would drown her or sail her home.

Byulyi couldn’t take it anymore. She needed something greater than what she had. All that she felt had been piling up since the beginning and she couldn’t hold it all anymore. She needed this like it was life itself.

Byulyi moved her hand from Yongsun’s waist to her face, gently moving her hair and cupping her cheek. Yongsun stirred, and pressed into her palm. Byulyi felt her chest constrict.

All this love, Byulyi’s been letting it flow out of her since the beginning. She’d let it surround her in a cloud, but it’d become denser and denser. There isn’t room for anything else to exist. It’s suffocating her. Love is killing her.

“Love is awesome,” she sighed. It was awful.

“Byul?” Yongsun mumbled, having heard her say something.

She shifted in closer and the hands she’d had clasped in front of her pressed now to Byulyi’s chest. Yongsun was half awake now. Byulyi wondered if she could feel her heart dying from overexertion and arrhythmia.

Byulyi leaned in, the tips of their noses meeting.

“Love is awesome,” she explained. It left her in awe.

Before Yongsun could ask, Byulyi closed the distance and kissed her.

It was like breathing or the very first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how these two stories turned out so different but there's gonna be an epilogue probably eventually maybe(?)
> 
> and if i write future stories i guess this will be the premise if it's in universe


End file.
